Homecoming Parade time draws near...
(... the beast is moulting, the fluff gets up your nose...)

Happy days are here again for exhibitionists and parade-lovers. Get ready for the event of the season (until the Ides-of-October Mystery Event in November). This year's theme is For the Glory of Spam, which means you can do what you do every year — dress however the hell you want.

[Note: I went as the Colonel again.]

Seriously, we would like some people to carry oversized Spam boxes (which we already have). Other easy ideas for costumes are Gumbies (I'm selling knotted handkerchiefs for 50 cents apiece. A piece of masking tape colored black makes a good mustache) and the Spanish Inquisition (dress in red head to foot and go around surprising people... no, fear and surprise! Two weapons!...)

Cathy Nelson has a parrot and a cage, should anyone want to register a complaint. (It's not pining! It's passed on!) Another easy idea is to dress as a flasher... you wear a trench coat over shorts and a sweater, and hang a sign on your chest that reads "BOO!!!"

The parade starts at 5:30 p.m., but we're supposed to register at 3 p.m. (Cathy and her crew will take care of that.) Anybody else can show up between 3 and 5 to participate in the event.

Cathy says some people are meeting in her room and some are meeting in Holli Weisman's room. Otherwise, just march straight up to the Homecoming parade lineup, past the I.M. Fields.

Our position number is 70. Since there are about 140 entries, we'll be about halfway through, probably wedged between a fraternity wearing Bart Simpson heads and a sorority wearing Marge Simpson heads (just a guess, folks! Don't go looking for Simpsons fraternities now). The numbers should be stuck on signs by the side of the parade, so it should be easy to spot us (Bing! Bing! Bing!).

Other things to remember: dress for the weather (remember when your mom made you wear your winter coat over the very best Halloween costume you'd ever made?).

Some people in the past have brought candy to hand to kids along the route (or to starving parade members).

Others bring along a couple snacks to share with fellow parade members. The parade takes about half an hour, but waiting to leave will take a little while.

The parade route is as follows: down Bigler, right on Pollock, left on Shortlidge, right on College, and right on Burrowes. The judging stand will be at the corner of College and Allen.

Hope to see you there, for the Glory of Old Spam!!! [Note: this is a parody of the Penn State alma mater, for the Glory of old State.]