Musings
an Online Journal of Sorts

By Alyce Wilson

For some reason, I have an almost uncanny ability to remember what I weighed at important events in my life.

I've gone up and down in weight, so for a good number of those years I would have been trying to get in better shape, stepping on the scale frequently. If I don't remember the weight, I often remember what size I was wearing for that event.

For example, I happen to remember weighing exactly 168 pounds when I met my ex-husband. By the end of that summer, because of bad habits we developed together, I weighed 10 pounds more.

I also remember that when I bought the miniskirt from yesterday's Musing, I weighed 155 pounds and was thrilled at the size: 13/14. Of course, right now I'm about 170, and I can only assume muscle makes up the extra 15 pounds.

This may mean that I should aim for a long-term goal based on size rather than weight. My sister and I both plan to reach a size 10 for her wedding next summer. I think ultimately, I might aim for a size 8, which would be the smallest I've ever been but also a healthy size for me.

Just to impress you with my Rainman-like recall, here's a rough breakdown.

Fourth grade, 90 pounds.

We were marched down to the nurse's office and weighed after a basic physical. Of course, when we came back to the room, other girls were chatting about it. All of them weighed 5 or 10 pounds less. So yes, I can honestly say I remember a time when I weighed 90 pounds and felt fat.

Fifth and sixth grades, the awkward years.

I'm not certain exactly what size I was during these years, except that I was extremely self-conscious about being chubby and out of shape.

Sophomore year of high school, roughly 155 pounds, size 14.

This was when I decided drastic measures were needed. The summer of my junior year, I lost a lot of weight.

High school graduation, 135 pounds, size 10.

At the time, this bummed me out. I was following a weight chart that said I should weigh 125 pounds.

Freshman year of college, 150 pounds, size 12.

I gained the Freshman 15 within three months of arriving on campus.

Coke-In, 1993, 178 pounds, size 16.

This was the year after I graduated from college. I would be starting grad school in the fall and wanted to make a good impression. So the summer of 1993, I got down to a size 14.

Beginning grad school, August 1993, size 14.

Living with Leechboy encouraged bad habits, and I went up to a size 16 my first year of grad school. But I worked out that the summer of that year, and by the time I left him in November of 1994, I had lost it again.

New Year's Eve 1995, roughly 160 pounds, size 13/14.

I wore my new miniskirt and had died my hair black. But then holiday weight gain caught up with me.

New Year's 1996, 180 pounds, size 16.

Although I weighed 168 pounds when I met my ex-husband, due to bad habits, I gained 10 pounds by the end of the first summer. My weight continued to creep upwards, to my dismay. Our carb-laden meals were definitely to blame.

Wedding, June 1996, 190 pounds, size 16/18.

I wasn't happy with this size, but the dress was nice, at least.

First wedding anniversary, 1997, 200 pounds.

After discovering how much I weighed, I went on a diet and had lost 25 pounds by the time I was hired at a local newspaper, to weigh 175.

Official newspaper photo, 1997, 185 pounds.

The hectic newspaper life (and far too many available snacks) led to weigh gain, and by the time my official photo was taken, I'd gained about 10 pounds.

New Year's 2000, 220 pounds, size 20.

In the wake of my divorce in 1998, I fell into extremely bad eating and snacking habits. I topped out at this weight. At least, as far as I know. That's the highest weight I ever saw on a scale, but I wasn't exactly checking myself regularly then. I had extremely bad habits, was depressed and did little for myself. It wasn't until I moved to Philly, got back in touch with old friends, started to do positive things for myself and started paying attention to what I was eating that my weight went down.

My brother's wedding, May 2001, about 210 pounds, size 18-20.

Although I currently use this as a "before" picture, I'd actually lost about 10 pounds.

Hopefully, from this point on, my milestones will be memorable as representing positive achievements, as I aim for a healthier life.

June 2004

Copyright 2004 by Alyce Wilson

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