I'd like to address some frequently asked questions about my pregnancy. First, though, an update.

My husband, The Gryphon, attended my ob-gyn visit yesterday, where we got good news. All the blood tests I had taken (including the screen for toxoplasmosis, an infection that can come from owning a cat) came back normal.

Also, we got to hear the baby's heartbeat! The doctor used an ultrasound wand, and we could hear that little heart we'd only seen beating as a light image before, in my first ultrasound. The heart rate was 158, which was in the normal window. The next visit is in one month.

And now, the FAQ:

1. Are you really pregnant?

Yes, I am. Either that or my body is engaged in an elaborate practical joke, including sound and visual effects.

Typically, this question comes from somebody who has friended me on Facebook or LiveJournal and therefore did not receive an announcement e-mail. I've been talking about my pregnancy frequently enough, I didn't think it was a secret. But I'm still getting this question occasionally.

2. When is your due date?

June 4. I am currently nearing the end of the first trimester.

3. Did you get the book What to Expect When You're Expecting yet?

Yes, it finally arrived from Amazon.com, and I spent the weekend reading up to the section on the third month of pregnancy. I also discovered that reading about morning sickness can make you nauseous. (My apologies to any pregnant women reading this passage.)

4. Will you find out the gender, or do you want it to be a surprise?

Yes, we do want to find out the gender. It will take some of the guesswork out of our preparation and ensure that we won't receive a slew of yellow or green baby gifts instead of the traditional pink or blue.

5. Are you thinking about names yet?

Yes, but I won't be sharing them in public forums. I will almost certainly be making an announcement on Facebook after the birth, so if you haven't already, you can friend me. If I actually know you, I will friend you back. Online friends, remember to send me a message with your screen name if you don't often use your real name online.

6. Are you experiencing any pregnancy symptoms?

A few. The first few weeks were actually the hardest, with fatigue, cramping, and breast tenderness. Right now, all those symptoms have passed. I do occasionally experience some mild nausea, but either drinking water or eating a piece of candied ginger helps.

I also have a hypersensitive sense of smell, which I used to experience only once a month and now seems to be a 24/7 deal. Never realized before how many things smell like mold!

In addition, I occasionally have mood swings, but I think that maintaining my regular exercise routine (altered to accommodate my new physical realities) is helping to alleviate stress. I do find that my tolerance towards asshattery has diminished greatly. Hence the following open messages:

To the guy who keeps revving his engine in the alleyway: Cut it out or I might just take a wrench and "fix" your car permanently. Fear the wrath of the pregnant woman!

To the woman who cut in front of me at the Salvation Army checkout today: The only thing that kept me from smashing your oddly pod-like salt-and-pepper containers against the wall was the realization that if I did so, I would be barred from the store and forced to buy all my maternity clothes at department store prices. Consider yourself lucky.

To the telemarketer who keeps calling at dinnertime: The reason I haven't been picking up is that your number is marked "blocked caller." I never pick up the phone for numbers I don't recognize. Give up.

7. You don't look pregnant.

So... you're telling me I look fat? Hmm? Actually, I understand why I'm getting this response so often. While I might wear tighter shirts around the house (such as the pink one I've been using to take my weekly photos), when I go out I'm opting for the blousy, roomy shirts that I deliberately bought to have "room to grow." So I suppose, to the unobservant, I don't look pregnant. I simply look comfortable!

 

That about covers the questions I've been hearing on a regular basis. I'd be happy, however, to answer any further questions you'd like to ask me now.