Musings
an Online Journal of Sorts

By Alyce Wilson

I have a membership in my local YMCA, and I try to make it in at least two times a week to do some weight lifting. Typically, I do lower body one day and upper body another day.

This is in addition to my normal exercise routine, which on a typical day consists of a morning and afternoon dog walk, each about 45 minutes long.

I also do a half hour to an hour of exercise, including playing Dance Dance Revolution and doing a toning tape.

There are a lot of regulars at the gym, people I see just about every time I visit. A lot of them are friendly and like to talk to each other. I usually prefer to be left alone, because I get through my workout more quickly, but I sometimes talk to people when I'm in the mood.

Here's a guide to some of the people I encounter there.

Church Lady

Strangely enough, I did not come up with this nickname. This is what other YMCA members call her, and she's in on it. "Hey, Church Lady!" they say when she arrives.

I'm reasonably certain it's because of her penchant for church lady hats, the wide-brimmed, colorful hats that many older women in this area pair with a matching suit to wear to church. If the hat is small enough, she wears it while she works out. If not, she hangs it on the coat pegs.

She's an older African-American woman, which tends to be the demographic that wears such hats. She always answers cheerfully to her nickname, and she doesn't take any guff.

Spandex Lady

While Church Lady favors hats, Spandex Lady has an inordinate fondness for tight-fitting body suits, usually black, most of which look like they were purchased in the 80s. She's got a very unflattering poodle perm, creating a ball of fluffy hair.

The problem with the outfit is that you'd have to be an athlete, living in about 1989, to consider it a good look. She, on the other hand, is a middle-aged woman who's not obese but definitely not athletic.

She works out with gusto, but in the time I've known her, she hasn't visibly gotten in any better shape. Maybe she has bad dietary habits.

She, however, is completely self-confident and has no trouble strutting what she believes to be her stuff.

The Silver Fox

The Silver Fox is an older man in about his 60s with gray, slicked back hair and swaggering self-confidence. He's a dedicated weight lifter, and he's got great muscle tone for a guy his age.

He's friendly and outgoing, always chatting with anyone nearby, and I often catch the older women checking him out.

The Sweat Meister

Middle-aged, tall and relatively thin, The Sweat Meister seems to have one workout outfit, ill-fitting green running shorts and an oversized white T-shirt that is always soaked in sweat. I don't know why, but I think that he uses the cardio equipment before coming over to use the weight machines.

Whenever he gets up from a machine, he leaves sweat puddles. It's absolutely sickening, even though he's relatively consistent about wiping it off with a towel. I usually go over it once more with a paper towel, just to be sure.

The Gossip

A tall brunette in about her 40s with a Philadelphia accent, The Gossip loves to talk while she works out. She seems to know just about everything that's going on in the community. This is another reason I don't talk too much at the gym.

Miscellaneous

People my age seem to be either in pretty good shape or obviously obese and just starting a workout program. In fact, there was a woman who started just after New Year's this year who clearly has a lot to lose. I haven't seen her lately, but it could just be a timing issue.

There are also a lot of young guys who work on building up their upper body, while their legs remain toothpick legs.

There are a number of YMCA volunteers who assist members in their workouts. One has cerebral palsy and has worked hard at getting in shape, which helps counteract his condition. In fact, you can barely tell except for some slurred speech and the fact that he lists from side to side when he walks. He's very helpful and quick to provide weightlifting advice.

A young guy just started helping there, and he's very enthusiastic. Perhaps he's accumulated a little too much information, though, and eager to relay his knowledge. When I saw him yesterday, he was introducing some older women to one of the machines, explaining it in such intricate detail I think they were overwhelmed.

But there's also an older volunteer who doesn't know the equipment as well as she should. Once, in fact, I had to jump in and correct her when she was giving bad information about the machine.

And finally, there are the people who come and go who aren't there often enough for me to recognize them. The other day, an older woman, who was really petite, sat down to use the leg press and was shocked at where the peg was set, at 275. She moved it down to 110 and said, "Whoever used this last must have been really strong. Probably a guy."

I didn't have the heart to tell her it had been me. Then again, I've been lifting weights for a good six or seven years now, and I certainly didn't start at the level I'm at now.

I've lost quite a bit of weight since I started working out at the YMCA. People that I haven't seen in a while, when they see me working out, tell me how great I'm looking. Which is one great thing about the YMCA regulars. For all their quirks, they are, overall, a friendly, supportive bunch.

Copyright 2006 by Alyce Wilson

Musings Index

What do you think? Share your thoughts
at Alyce's message board (left button):