Alyce Wilson

Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood by Jim Fay
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

My sister recommended “Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood” to me after using it in family counseling situations, and I found the book had a lot of positive concrete suggestions for parenting young children. While I never agree 100 percent with any parenting book, I found myself agreeing with the basic concepts: effective parenting comes from empowering children to make positive choices, underscored by a relationship of trust and loving reinforcement.

While the tone of the authors is sometimes condescending, I appreciated the many examples. Not every example is something I would emulate: I don’t feel comfortable walking away from a child having a tantrum in a grocery store, even if they do emphasize that you should still watch them from “around the corner.” It takes only a moment for a predator to snatch a child!

However, I have put some of the techniques into practice and found them useful. For example, my husband and I give our son choices of what shirts to wear, what snacks to eat, et cetera. This helps him to feel like he has some control in his life. Surprisingly, I’ve also discovered that if he’s having a tantrum, it is far more effective to just calmly tell him, “Get it out of your system. Make it good” and stand quietly watching. Since he’s not getting the reaction that he’s seeking, he comes around much more quickly than when I used to raise my voice at him in response.

More importantly, the book has encouraged me to see every misbehavior as a learning opportunity. My husband and I have both sought to understand what underlies his behavior and to build a relationship of love and trust.

For giving us a way to deal with the frustrations of the “terrible twos,” I am extremely grateful for this book.

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