Musings
an Online Journal of Sorts

By Alyce Wilson

So he suggested Stepford Wives. I wasn't that keen on seeing it, but I said OK. I'm glad I went.

Without spoiling anything, let me say that the movie actually provides an ending that takes the movie in a different direction than you might be expecting.

The difference was so pronounced that it was at least amusing if not occasionally horrifying to young, freethinking women who felt as if they had to squeeze themselves into a vacuous mold, the mold of a housewife who cared about nothing but cleaning products and the latest innovations in kitchen appliances.

So I wondered how they were going to update the movie. I thought that perhaps the concept was too dated, that we were too far away from that kind of a culture clash. But what director Frank Oz did in his updating of it was to capitalize on the modern view of those restricted, traditionalist ideas as comical.

To capitalize on the difference between the modern woman, portrayed by Nicole Kidman, and the Stepford Wives, he dressed them in clothes that could have easily been worn 30 years ago. Or 40 years ago. Or 50 years ago. Flowery, full-skirted vintage girlie-girl.

And even when Nicole Kidman, an ousted television executive who arrived in town with her husband, played by Matt Broderick, tries to fit in, her pastel pantsuits are still too trendy to blend in.

Frank Oz plays up the humor of the culture clash, especially in interactions between Kidman and two comrades she discovers in town: Bette Midler, who plays a feminist author; and Roger Bart, who plays one half of a gay marriage, whose partner has mystifyingly become a gay Republican.

They share secret jokes about the archaic squareness of the town, and even do a little spying to see what they can figure out about the town's secrets.

Because of his carefully modulated use of comedy, which punctuates the movie, relieving tension and helping you identify with the characters, Frank Oz manages to convey his serious message in the same gentle way he did with his previous triumph, In & Out.

I share the dread of the Stepford Wives, even though it's not something I grew up with. My mom was a stay-at-home mom but she certainly didn't live her life around cleaning products. She did spend time every day doing housework and cooking dinner, but she always had a sharp wit, a great sense of humor. Very intelligent, very creative. I remember her sketching us in pastels while we were children. And I always admired Mom, even if I didn't see myself following the same path.

When I got older, she went back to school and found a job outside the home. It fell on me to be the secondary mom, to make sure my brother and my sister ate dinner when they were supposed to, to be there if they needed anything. But by that time, we were growing up and none of us needed a full-time mom in the house.

I've had more than one friend try to explain to me lately that they want to be stay-at-home moms. They say it to me as if defending themselves. They wait for the criticism that never comes, because I certainly would not stand in the way of them doing what they believe is right for their families.

One of the great things about the women's movement has been that it's opened up the doors of possibility. And I think that today we should be careful we don't push the Stepford Supermom (She works in the office all day and still has time to keep an immaculate house and cook a five-course meal!).

Of course, the economic realities of our day mean a lot of families cannot get by on just one paycheck. But when it's possible, and especially when children are small, I think it's great if someone is willing or able to do that.

What scared us about the Stepford Wife was that she has become an entirely other person. She had no brain of her own, no free will. And that, I thought, was the view that many young women's libbers once had of the traditional housewife.

You must remember there was a lot of indoctrination in those days. Young women were taught their place, and frequently went to college more to look for a husband than to use her skills later. That sort of widespread brainwashing was, most likely, what produced enough real life Stepford Wives to shock the independent women who had other goals.

Myself, an independent woman, I have no intention of becoming a Stepford Wife, even if I marry again, even if I have kids. Mostly because, through trials and challenges, I've learned to respect myself. I've learned to believe in myself. I would not let anyone turn me into an automaton. I will not live to sing the praises of cleaning products and dishwashers.

You see, over the past few years, I've made a transformation. I'm the new improved Alyce. And you can be new and improved, too. (Some assembly required.)

Copyright 2004 by Alyce Wilson

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