December 10, 2003 - Santa's Helper

To me, this sounded like a terrific idea to do something tangible, something a lot more personal than simply sending a check (although I still put a dollar in the Salvation Army kettle nearly every time I see them).

So yesterday, I went shopping at K-Mart, taking a shoebox along so I could be sure everything would fit.

According to their guidelines, you are not supposed to include things like war toys or religious material. In some countries, religious pamphlets may be given out along with the boxes, but in countries who have requested that not be done, simply the boxes are distributed.

In addition, I had some stipulations of my own. I didn't want to include anything overtly commercial, anything directly tied to a television show or cartoon. As much as possible, I wanted the gifts to be likely to appeal to a child of any ethnic background, so I avoided picture boxes of white children, along with white baby dolls.

I also wanted to include toys that did not require batteries, figuring that even if I included extra batteries they would eventually wear out and the child might not have the resources to get more. Instead, I opted for classic toys such as yo-yos, a Slinky and an extremely soft plush teddy bear.

You were encouraged to include some hygiene products, so I included a travel size toothpaste and toothbrush. I was going to include a travel sized shampoo and moisturizer until I reread the guidelines and saw we were not supposed to include liquids. I did include a small hairbrush and some colorful hair fasteners.

Another suggestion was to include school supplies, so I included some sparkly pencils, with a pencil sharpener, and a pack of 24 crayons. I opted for these items because pens and markers have a limited use; as soon as the ink has dried up they're useless. But crayons and pencils will last for years, as long as they have a point.

I wanted to include a small notepad or coloring book, but I couldn't find anything small enough. So I decided on a colorful mini organizer that included stickers, a sticker book, a memo pad, a drawing pad and a mini calculator. The calculator worked but it was battery powered and possibly disposable. I decided that, rather than try to figure out what kind of batteries to include, I would get a separate solar powered calculator which could be used as long as it was kept in good condition.

Just for fun, I added some hard candies, some Altoids and a packet that included several different rings with matching stickers to put on the ear lobes.

As I was walking through the store to decide what to send, I was struck by all of the overly commercial toys. Thinking of this unknown girl in another land, I was momentarily overwhelmed with this display of abundance, slightly sickened even.

I didn't realize until I tried it how difficult it was to find noncommercial toys. Hopefully, I would have better luck in a different type of store, one which specializes in, say, educational toys. I was also struck by the fact that, despite living in a multicultural neighborhood, most of the dolls and toys and characters in coloring books represented white children, white families.

What would it be like, I wondered, trying to raise a child today, and to pass along the values I feel are important? Surrounded by all of this commercialism, all of this capitalistic homogeny?

My parents tried especially hard to keep us away from commercialism. Sometimes they would make concessions, but we seldom had more than one or two toys from any popular series. We were never permitted to collect an entire series. Instead, most of the time they opted for more educational toys, like Legos and Fisher Price toys.

The last thing to put in the box was a picture of myself. They had suggested you could include a picture and a note, along with your address. If the child wanted to, she could write back. I thought, "Why not?" I've been using my digital camera for awhile, so I didn't have any recent pictures that were prints.

Finally, I found a nice print that's about two and a half years old, showing me in front of a big colorful mural on South Street. While I'm chubbier in that picture than today, the child would never know that or care. Plus, I looked friendly in that picture, which I felt was important.

I felt a little bit like Jack Nicholson in About Schmidt, writing a note to include. I told this unknown girl that I didn't know what the weather was like there but that we had just had some snow and that my dog loved to play in it. I told her that I was including a picture of myself taken in nearby Philadelphia. I told her that I didn't know what country she was in but that I hoped she was well and healthy and that she enjoyed my presents.

While I was laying out the gifts to photograph them, I noticed that the teddy bear was missing. My dog, Una, had taken it off to her favorite bean bag chair, assuming it was for her. To be fair, it was on the floor, which is where I generally put stuffed animals when they're for her. Fortunately, she hadn't done any damage to it before I took it away.

And then I boxed it all up, taped on the tag and the box was ready to go. Today I mailed it, priority mail.

As I drove away from the post office, I found myself wondering again what sort of child will open up the box, what her reaction will be as she examines the gifts inside. Hopefully, she'll be delighted. But if she decides, instead, to trade some of her gifts with her friends for "cooler" toys, that's fine, too.

 

Moral:
Caring is a universal language.