Musings
an Online Journal of Sorts

By Alyce Wilson

I had an idea, and then it disappeared, so I'm just going to go on and on until I fall over backward foaming at the mouth.

It's kind of ironic that the day after the Memorial Day holiday is when it turns bright and sunny and beautiful. Una is a happy doggy today. Big doggie grin.

I watched part of an infomercial for the "Gazelle Elite" last night, which is one of those exercise bikes that everybody ends up eventually selling for a quarter at yard sales. It was absolutely insane. There were a man and a woman talking about it, and their eyes were practically bulging out of their faces. They kept up a manic patter, made insanely stupid jokes and laughed wildly. If the "Gazelle Elite" does that to you, I have one question: Is it legal?

Now that the regular season is over, I am no longer worrying as much about timeshifting. You see, most of the assignments I do are done at night, so I have been taping shows to watch later. I now have about six or seven tapes I need to catch up with. This includes the two-hour Cher special. I thought it might be funny.

But now my regular shows, such as Law and Order, are in reruns, so I'm forced to actually change channels from NBC. Last night I flipped to an old episode of ...

<to dog> Una, what are you eating?

Little known fact: the original title for Quincy was What Are You Eating? That was what a network exec said when he saw the pilot. But nobody thought the title was funny, except for the network exec, who was fired after he was found pouring vodka into the water cooler.

Rambling on... I'm a rambler...

My dog is cute, especially when she is sniffing things, which is most of the time. Any time I move things in my apartment, she figures out what I moved and then she has to sniff it. She also likes to lick things, if they smell especially good. My dad gave me a couple old recipe books that used to be my grandmother's. She was really into health food and it includes things like "bran cake." Una must be more health conscious than I thought. After she sniffed the books in their new spot in the book shelf, she began to lick them. I bet that's exactly what bran cake tastes like.

But it is a marvelous day, and if I had taken yesterday off, I would have found it ironic. Yesterday, however, I worked on my literary magazine, Wild Violet, so it's not like the bad weather made that much of a difference. I might have been tempted to play hookie if it had been nicer, though.

Are they really singing "You don't need a pinhead just to hang around?" in that song "Down on the Corner?" I thought so.

On Saturday, I saw an episode of a kids version of Trading Spaces. It was called Trading Spaces, Boys v. Girls. A team of boys switches bedrooms with a team of girls, and they redo the bedrooms in themes. The boys gave the girl, who was an athlete, a Field of Dreams room, complete with Astroturf. There was a score board over the bed. I am not kidding.

It's fine while she's 9, but I think it's a feature that will be changed by the time she gets into puberty. Otherwise, it will make for some really weird explanations to the parents. "Your scoreboard is on 10. It was on 9 yesterday before Billy came over..."

The girls gave the boy a disco room, complete with dance floor. I want one! I am now trying to figure out schemes for pretending to be a child just to get on the show. Maybe I can hire one of the neighbors to pretend my room is theirs. But with my luck, I'd end up with a pink room with Barbie motifs or something. I mean, these are the same girls who played "working mom," where they bustled around with a doll in a stroller while they fielded work-related calls on their pretend cell phones. I am not kidding.

You know, I could just redecorate my room myself. That's a thought. But I still have kind of a To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything decorating style, complete with scarfs and gewgaws on the walls. And tinsel over the windows. And multicolored Christmas lights which I seldom turn on. And of course, my wall collages, and tapestries and a sign that says "Clean Beds 50 cents" ...

<falls over backwards, foaming at the mouth>

Copyright 2003 by Alyce Wilson

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