The day has arrived, the day of the First Annual Upperclassman Twit of the Year Run.

[Note: I am omitting the section regarding setup, which involved laying down the lines, bringing out a bed, setting up a sound system, planting cardboard squirrels on the lawn, and setting up a table with fresh fruit.]

With everything basically set up, we began the competition. Eric [Schr9ager], as the MC, explained the contest and introduced the twits. I was playing a sorority girl named Betty Beta. Matt [Pyson] was a twit, and so were Trotsky [L.J. Sparvero], Roger [Christman] and Paul [Farkas].

After the introductions, we headed down to the starting line(s) for the first event, "Walk a Straight Line."

Eric gave us the signal, and most of the twits took off in the wrong direction. Betty just stood there balancing on one leg until she managed to walk the line.

[Note: When in character, I often referred to myself in the third person in my journal.]

Betty was first to the second event, "Wake Up the Roommate."

She'd picked up one of the lines (crepe paper), and she wrapped it around his neck to wake him. Then the other twits came along and dumped him out of his bed.

Next was the event, "Point at the Picture of Bryce Jordan." The twits all had difficulty with that one.

From there, we went to the next event, "Run Over the Squirrel." We were supposed to have an event in between, where we got directions from a teaching assistant, but Will [Wong] didn't know where he was supposed to be [for the Twit event].

Betty refused to stomp on the squirrels. The others got very vicious, and she tried to protect the squirrels by shielding them with her body. She lingered behind to mourn over a few of them.

Meanwhile, the other twits were stealing fresh fruit from Jim, who was acting as a dining hall worker. They weren't having much luck, although he didn't really care about the fruit, since you're allowed to take that from the dining halls. Betty Beta took the parts of a squirrel down to accost the other twits with their cruelty. Trotsky ripped the tail out of her hand and bit it. Betty fainted and hit her head on the ground.

When she came to, she tried to steal the fresh fruit with her feminine charm. She succeeded. In fact, the dining hall worker gave her some fruit outright.

And then, the last event, the "Dash to Ode de Capa." Actually, Betty did the sorority skip, and the other twits stumbled along. When all the twits had arrived, we had one last feat to do — throw our fruit at the Onionhead.

Roger was the first to succeed, and the others followed in rapid succession. Then the judges came through with their verdict. They held up numbers, and Betty tried to steal some good ones for herself.

I hadn't mentioned that throughout the competition, Betty had been trying to do the judge's hair: Jenny Hoffman, that is.

We returned to Eric, who was still gibbering away, and the awards were given out. I got second. I think Roger got first and Paul got third.

And then we cleaned it all up and went back to Atherton for some more silliness. Matt made a sign that said, "The Monty Python Society stood here on Sunday, April 23, 1989." Then we all stood on it, outlined our feet, and wrote our names on it.