heading up to the meeting, I wrote up a poem by Berlin St. Croix:
to land on
way up to the meeting, I wrote two other Berlin St. Croix poems, one
of which was a genius inspiration that I obtained on seeing a photo
of Sinead O'Connor on the cover of Rolling Stone. I happened
to see the magazine while I was making copies up at the HUB, so I
borrowed it and made a photocopy of it.
one of the first people to show up, so I started recruiting people
to be in "The Spy Skit."
[Note: I wrote this very Pythonesque "spy skit"
in high school.] I got Bernhard [Warg] to play the hick, Joe [Foering]
to play Mr. Mead, and Suzanne [Moskalski] to play the stage manager.
I would play Miss Bemsley. Then I recruited a couple people to be
the "scufflers" at the end of "The
Awards Sketch." And I was set.
Once everyone had arrived and recruited actors for their skits, the
Skits-o-phrenia meeting began. First was a skit by Mark Sachs called
"The Vice Presidential Debate." In it, he played Al Gore,
Joe played Dan Quayle, and Bernhard played Admiral Stockdale. Jen
Hoffman served as a moderator, and I was the announcer. Stockdale
only interjected occasionally with lines like "Who am I? Why
am I here?" Gore constantly began statements with "Bill
Clinton and I feel that..." and Dan Quayle repeated his famous
gaffes, arguing with Gore about a number of factual errors.
They disintegrated into a parody of "The Argument Sketch,"
with Gore and Quayle saying "Did not," "Did too,"
"Did not," "Did too" back and forth until Jen cut
in, "Look! This isn't a debate! A debate is when each candidate
gets a chance to espouse his or her beliefs on an issue. It's not just
the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says." Gore
and Quayle couldn't agree on anything, so Gore said, "Bill Clinton
and I are leaving!"
pitched in, "Okay. So leave."
Clinton and I think you should leave instead."
infinitum. A very funny sketch.