School Year 1991-1992
(page 1 of 2)
During Spring Week, we performed a half hour of skits on April 20.
Upperclassmen Twit-of-the-Year Contest was on April 25. Participants
included Andy Wilson, my brother, Dee Latona, Paul Yacinsin, Matt Sheldon,
Scott Kane and Carl Congdon.
The Mall Climb was on May 2. This write-up was included in Completely
adventurers brave the heights of Mount Pattee
beautiful Penn State afternoon (translation: drizzling and overcast),
a group of brave explorers (translation: outpatients) made the umpteenth
annual trek up the twin peaks of Mount Pattee. This was accomplished
by turning gravity 90 degrees, which makes the climb much more challenging
(otherwise, we'd be climbing horizontally, which is silly).
first leg of the journey, from Pollock Road to Base Camp A, is the
easiest part of the climb. Conditions were quite dangerous, however,
due to the dampness and drizzle. Several life-threatening avalanches
(translation: people throwing blades of grass) were weathered without
major incident. The late, Cheese-Grated Kzin (Mrs.), a.k.a. Jon Kilgannon,
sustained interview burns from his constant opinion polls, which were
no more annoying than the constant presidential polls for the coming
election (translation: extremely annoying). Approximately 10 yards
from Base Camp A, Mr. Simpson (French, is it?), a.k.a. Carl Haicken,
shattered both his calves. But due to bravery and poor planning, he
agreed to continue the climb.
Camp A, the party rested, ate provisions, and engaged in whatever
nuptial agreements people found necessary. Carl Haicken immediately
married Mr. Simpson (translation: himself), and as a mail-order priest,
I now pronounced him "a really sick human being."
Lindsay decided not to marry Attila the Dead, a.k.a. Steven Gradess,
but asked if he could kill him instead. Seems that Rob had suffered
quite a few bad head injuries (translation: puns), compliments of
Attila the Pun.
asked his opinion on the climb so far, Ed Gruberman, a.k.a. Neale
Lanigan, said, "Owwww!"