Visits London Over Holidays
the rest of you were festering at home, drinking generic egg nog,
spinning weird tops, and hanging out at the mall, I took a glamorous
two-week holiday in London with the Penn State Scholars Program. Prepare
to be jealous...
One December 26-27
my first plane trip (since I was a baby, which doesn't count because
I didn't know enough to watch the in-flight movie). Landed at Heathrow,
collected my stomach from the baggage retrieval system, hopped on
a tube (subway train) and traveled to the Earl's Court station in
Chelsea. Lugged my
fucking luggage eighty three and a half
blocks to Harcourt Lodge.
we were all tired and jet lagged, we took a complete tour of the city,
including Westminster Cathedral, Big Ben, Parliament, 10 Downing Street,
Trafalgar Square, Covent Garden, and Buckingham Palace. Went "home"
and scalded myself in the sink (the hot water was on the RIGHT!).
Two December 28
the Tower of London and got attacked by a raven (quit making things
up! - ed) No, I don't have to, because I'm the editor. Anyway,
Jenny (Hoffman) and I found Michael Palin's business office. I left
a pack of newsletters and a poorly written letter.
You will, of course, forgive me
for captioning the above photo "Jenny on the Block"]
Day Three December 29
into Johnnie (Major) in Harrod's and discussed his plans for the war.
He says he plans to launch an offensive with banana cream pies and
an elephant brigade, with [THIS PARAGRAPH IS BEING CUT DUE TO ARMY
REGULATIONS] But the elephant brigade would not be forced to aid
in the clean up afterwards.
Five December 31-January 1
New Year's Eve in Trafalgar Square, watching people throw confetti,
drop bottles, kick aluminum cans, kiss and throw up on each other.
my group had formed a chain and was heading back to the underground
station. Got stranded at Nottingham Hill Road tube stop and had to
walk home. Got lost several times and asked directions from some constables
who were guarding a broken shop window.
watch, which only goes from February to September, flipped over to
Seven January 2
out my own appendix on the Piccadilly Line according to directions
in The Brand New Monty Python Papperbok.
the incision at Earl's Court, swabbed at South Kensington, removed
the appendix at Knightsbridge, washed my hands at Piccadilly Circus,
sterilized at Covent Garden... (now I know you're making this up!
Stop it right now! - ed) All right. I really did research for
my honors thesis.
Eight January 3
to Oxford University and learned about the English school system (Believe
me, kids. SAT's are nothing compared to this!)
the day walking around the colleges, admiring cathedrals, and hearing
stories about Lewis Carroll and A.A. Milne.
Nine January 4
Cambridge. Spent the day walking around the colleges, admiring the
cathedrals, and hearing stories about Isaac Newton.
my umbrella on the train.
off a letter for J. Cleese at his business office.
Day Ten January 5
Stonehenge, Salisbury, and Bath. Realized that I was running short
of space and would have to complete the trip in one and a half inches.
Fifteen January 10
Swam home. (did not! - ed)