Musings
an Online Journal of Sorts

By Alyce Wilson

True to my word, I ordered Hips and Thighs of Steel 2000. It arrived Tuesday, and I tried it out Wednesday morning. This tape was structured much the same way as Buns of Steel 2000. There were three instructors who took turns leading sections of the workout.

One instructor was the same, the one whose eyebrows reminded me of Groucho Marx. Turns out her real name is Tracy York. Her look was a little toned down in this video. She'd actually exchanged her big hair for a short, bouncy style that was much more flattering, even though she was still drawing on her eyebrows and wearing harsh makeup.

Of course, a little research reveals these tapes actually came out in 1994, which explains the extremely dated look.

This tape was supposed to focus on hips and thighs but also worked glutes. I felt these exercises much more than the Buns of Steel tape, although I found that when I went back and did that tape with ankle weights in the toning segment, it made a difference.

I've been getting back into my regular exercise routine. So far it hasn't made a huge difference in my weight loss, but that could be because this past Saturday I blew my diet entirely. Even so, I did lose almost a pound that week.

Exercising is good for me in a variety of ways. I have more energy now. It helps with stress reduction, and of course, there's muscle toning.

Just as I was taking my dog, Una, on a walk yesterday morning, I came across the guy who mows our lawn. He told us he was back from vacation. This was good, because The Gryphon and I had been talking about going out and buying a weed trimmer. He said he was doing lawns and wanted to know if I wanted ours done. I said yes but that as soon as I finished the dog walk I was going to the gym, so maybe I'd just leave him some money.

He said, "You're in good shape. Why do you have to go to the gym?"

"To stay in good shape," I told him.

This is the same kind of thinking that inspires interviewers to ask Jessica Simpson how she got in shape for The Dukes of Hazzard movie, as if they'll learn some magical secret. Well, two and a half hours of exercise a day, that's her secret. Nothing magical about that.

It's funny how people seem to assume that if you're trying to get in shape it means you don't like yourself the way you are. That's not true. I like myself quite a bit, but to my way of thinking, after coming this far, having lost 80 pounds, I might as well get in the best shape I've ever been.

The other day I mentioned to my friends The White Rabbit and The Dormouse that I would have to get a smaller Otakon staff shirt for the second year in a row. But I said I didn't think I'd have to worry about this next year, because I only have 15 pounds to lose.

The White Rabbit looked concerned. "Do you have 15 more pounds to lose?" he asked.

"That would just mean finally losing the Freshman 15," I told him. "I'd look the way I did when we met."

He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Nothing scary," I promised. I'm realistic about my weigh loss goals. I have no desire to be underweight and am using the BMI chart to help plan my goal. My goal weight would put me right in the middle of the normal range for my height. Currently, I'm at the high end of the normal range.

Of course, when I'm going to lose those last 15 pounds is a mystery. I've been in a holding pattern since before my sister's wedding, losing and regaining the same three or four pounds. But The Gryphon and I did some thinking and have come up with some possible causes. I'm being careful now to drink six glasses of water a day and to faithfully mark down everything I eat, even if it's just a handful of mini rice cakes.

And I know I won't look like a model at the end of it; I have the wrong body type for that. But I like the way I look. I'm just working towards the optimal version of me. Within reason, of course, as The Gryphon reminded me yesterday over Yahoo!Messenger, right after I'd finished the Hips & Thighs of Steel 2000 workout:

Alyce: I'm going to have hips and thighs of steel!

The Gryphon: Won't those hurt?

Alyce: Nope!

The Gryphon: I don't know how I feel about having a Cyborg Sex Goddess as a girlfriend.

Alyce: They won't REALLY be steel, silly! They'll just be firmed up. Muscular.

The Gryphon: Ohhh... okay. So... you promise that you won't go amok and kill old ladies?

Alyce: Why would I? I'm going to be one some day.

And a healthy old lady, at that.

Copyright 2005 by Alyce Wilson

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