Musings
an Online Journal of Sorts

By Alyce Wilson

Fly-front tuxedo

Our Saturday began with the exhausting work of removing the snow that had fallen the day before in an extended ice storm. The Gryphon had shoveled the night before, not that you could tell.

I began shoveling myself, just after taking our dog, Una, outside. The process was slow, as the snow had hardened into a solid block of slickness. In some sections, I had to use a smaller, ditch-digging type shovel to break the crust before shoveling.

When he got up, The Gryphon joined me, as we worked to dig out my car. This was particularly difficult, because that portion hadn't been shoveled at all. We took a break halfway through to have breakfast.

Even with all the effort, we finished in plenty of time for The Gryphon to get ready for his scheduled meeting with his groomsmen. They were going to the local Men's Wearhouse to order their tuxes.

The Dormouse picked him up, but running a little late because it took him so long to shovel out his car, which had been parked in the shade, giving him none of the melting benefits of the sun.

I worked on layout for the upcoming issue of Wild Violet, staying near the phone in case The Gryphon needed to reach me. I didn't expect him to, because we had already spent a lot of time talking about it, trying out different combinations on the "Build a Tuxedo" portion of the Men's Warehouse web site.

Just in case, I'd put together a photo for him that included pictures of the bridesmaid and bridal dresses, a swatch of fabric the color of the bridesmaid dresses, a screen capture of the suit we'd built at their site, and the write-up of our wedding ideas we'd prepared for our florist. The Gryphon tells me he didn't need any of it, except for the page with our wedding colors.

In keeping with our retrofuturistic theme, the guys chose a black fly-front tuxedo, an ivory shirt with a banded collar, a button cover over the top button and no tie, and the black Legacy vest, which has vertical stripes of black on black. The overall effect will be similar to the nehru suits designed by Pierre Cardin and other designers in the '60s.

The tuxes should look sharp on the guys and complement the women's dresses, as well.

The guys went out for lunch afterwards, so The Gryphon got back around 3:30. He gave me some feedback on the issue design and then hung out with me while I worked on the poetry section.

When we both got hungry, we went out to eat at a nearby Asian restaurant, where I got sushi and he had a very healthy looking rice and eel dish.

We stopped at the video store and rented Casino Royale, starring Daniel Craig. And, since it was St. Patty's Day, we also picked up a six of Guinness at a bottle shop.

The movie was good but long, and I fell asleep about half an hour before the end. When I awoke, The Gryphon told me I'd missed a heck of an ending: "Turns out M was a double agent, and she kills Bond." For half a second, I believed him.

As careful as I've been with wedding preparations, some complications are destined to beset any bride. In this case, it was when my sister, who is my honor attendant, tried on her bridesmaid's dress, which Mom had delivered to her after her recent visit.

My sister had been the only one of the three bridesmaids who couldn't make it on the day we ordered the dresses. We'd ordered hers from measurements she and her husband took at home. Turns out they got them wrong, and the dress we ordered was three sizes too big! This might sound hard to believe, but the difference between dress sizes is about an inch to an inch and a half.

I'd been assured previously that David's Bridal can take any dress in two sizes (I'd panicked a little when I realized the dress I purchased, while fitting well on my hips, was very big up top). But when my sister took the dress to the Center Hall bridal shop where she'd bought her bridal gown, they told her the dress, which has a fitted halter top, wouldn't look right after being altered so severely.

My sister called me with the news last Wednesday night, and I immediately called my local David's Bridal to find out how to work an exchange. At first, I asked if I should just overnight the receipt to my sister so she could exchange it at the Altoona David's Bridal, which is closer to her. The salesperson thought that was a good idea until we discovered a complication. The dress, which we'd ordered last fall, had been discontinued.

I was stunned, and I almost began to tear up, but the salesperson did a little searching in the system and suggested an alternative. While the dress was discontinued, there were still dresses available in the various stores across the state. We could order my sister a replacement that way. She never said explicitly that these would be floor models, but I imagine they must be.

The salesperson advised that I call the Altoona store and ask them if my sister could work the exchange there. I called, and the person who answered seemed a little confused about the prospect of ordering the discontinued dress, and they suggested that, based on the measurements I gave them (new and old), they could most likely alter the dress. Of course, my sister, like me, plans to tone up some before the wedding, which makes that an unsatisfactory solution.

So I called the Springfield store again and asked if I should have my sister ship me the dress so my local store, who seemed to have more of a clue, could work the exchange. She said that she'd spoken to her manager since I'd called and been assured that my sister should be able to take care of it in Altoona. In fact, she wouldn't even need my receipt, because it was in their store-wide system, along with the details of all my wedding party members' dresses.

My sister was planning to drive to the Altoona store on Friday but had to postpone the trip because of the ice storm. The roads were clear by Saturday, so after she finished work, she and her husband drove up together.

She called me afterwards with the good news. Even though she had to explain her problem to a couple different salespeople, she got the results we wanted. They found a dress in the system in her size and are going to work the exchange. While she was in the store, she tried on dresses to make sure she ordered the right fit this time.

I was happy with this resolution, because it meant we didn't have to reply on Plan B. Before she'd gone into the store on Saturday, I'd called her to tell her that if she couldn't get the dress in the right size, she could order a different tea length dress in the same color, which would have looked just as nice.

As far as wedding crises go, this was a fairly minor one. My sister has assured me that I don't need to worry about anything else. She'll be certain to examine the dress for flaws when she receives it, and if it isn't suitable, she'll find a solution. I trust her to do so, now that she knows what I want.

This weekend's wedding planning news makes me think about some tips I'd offer to anyone planning a wedding. Many books and magazines advice you start by deciding what sort of a wedding you want. Formal or informal? Playful or stately? Colorful or muted? In our case, we came up with an overriding theme, which has been helpful in choosing all our details.

Once you've agreed on what type of wedding you want, do research, research, research! In my case, I've been doing most of the legwork, since I enjoy that sort of thing. I do Google searches or make phone calls to local vendors and then relay my findings to my fiancé, The Gryphon, so we can make a decision.

Communication between the wedding party members is essential, whether between bride and groom or bride and bridesmaid. A lot of brides have trouble delegating responsibility and therefore try to do too much themselves. I've kept a steady stream of communication open with key wedding party members, making certain that they're up to date on our thoughts.

We picked up an excellent book, The Knot Ultimate Wedding Planner by Carley Roney, which has informative chapters on various wedding related topics and then worksheet style pages for planning your wedding. It also has pages to keep track of your budget, a detailed wedding checklist, and pages for contact info for various vendors, etc.

I keep the book inside a large accordion style plastic folder, which has sleeves to keep all the information, receipts, and other items relating to our wedding. Whatever your system, make sure everything is in one place and that everyone who needs to access it (such as your fiancé, parents, or honor attendant) know where it's kept.

I'm not foolish enough to think that being organized means we won't have any problems, but it certainly helps. As soon as my sister called on Wednesday, I could pull out the folder and access the contact info for the store, the name of the salesperson with whom we'd placed the order, and the receipt for the dresses.

If you encounter a planning problem, find out what your options are for resolving it, then prioritize the solutions. If you know you have a Plan B, and possibly even a Plan C, you'll get less stressed until the problem is resolved. I'll admit, I wasn't happy about the dress tangle, but I felt better as soon as I realized that no matter what, we'd find a solution.

Just like the salesperson said in our initial conversation, "Well, if worse comes to worse, at least she has a dress we can work with. She won't be going down the aisle naked."

True, true!

More on Alyce's wedding planning:

Musings on Alyce's Wedding

Copyright 2006 by Alyce Wilson

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