Musings
an Online Journal of Sorts

By Alyce Wilson

Fred Hall with Audience Members

My dad is in town this weekend for his annual medical convention. I met him at the hotel last night for the traditional Thursday night dinner and entertainment. Took me awhile to get there, though, because the rush hour traffic was horrendous.

In previous years, when the convention was held at the Adam's Mark Hotel (now being demolished to make way for a Target store), the Thursday night activities were geared towards families, with buffet tables, a dance floor and a local group of singers/dancers who would lead the children and adults in fun dances and sing-alongs.

Every year we hang out with his med school buddy and their family, along with a couple other old friends. We usually dance our feet off on the dance floor and have a great time.

Starting last year, the convention was held at the Valley Forge Convention Center, with the Thursday night dinner held at Lily Langtry's, a dinner theater at the Radisson Hotel that adjoins the convention center. Last year, we saw one of their stage productions, which was a sampler of songs from movie musicals.

This time, however, it was more of a return to how things used to be, with some exceptions. Doctors were only allowed to bring one guest each, which meant families and children were discouraged. In fact, I didn't see anyone in the room younger than some med students who were about 25.

Also, the band was more a dance orchestra, the Fred Hall Orchestra. While we ate, they played Big Band and rock standards, while some of the older couples took to the floor. I'm always impressed by people dancing traditional dance steps to Big Band music, since it's not something I ever learned. I'm a hippie at heart; I just feel the music and rock out.

The tables were a little smaller than in previous years, so Dad and I ended off by ourselves, as his friend and their family could only make room for one extra couple. But to be fair, last year we were the ones who got to sit with them, while the other couple had to find another place.

I've always felt that Dad's med school buddy looks a lot like a younger version of Wilford Brimley, and I mean this in the nicest possible way. He's a stout little guy with a gray mustache and glasses and a jovial personality. He's got a great sense of humor, and he's always the default leader of the group. His wife and daughter are both petite blondes with big smiles and cheerful personalities. Every year it's fun to catch up with them and find out what's been happening in the year that elapsed.

As we sat at our table, Dad chatted with me about how they'd all gone shoe shopping yesterday at the Nordstrom's outlet near the King of Prussia Mall. I had no idea there was such a thing, but I'll have to check it out in time to get some shoes for a friend's upcoming wedding.

As he talked, I looked through the instruction booklet for my camera phone until I found instructions on deleting photos from the gallery. Apparently, after you take too many, it won't let you even start the camera function anymore. Unfortunately, turning on the camera function was the only way I knew how to enter the gallery and therefore, delete photos. Turns out there was another way to access the gallery, so while we talked, I burned up almost all of my battery power deleting photos. I'd already e-mailed myself copies of everything I have on the phone, so I only kept the ones I might want to show to people later.

Unlike the buffets of previous years, this was a set menu, brought out a course at a time. It took them a long time to get to the first course, and Dad and I nursed some glasses of rose wine until I couldn't take it any longer and actually had a roll. I had intended to skip it, just to leave room for things I knew were coming, like dessert.

The first course was a pasta course, followed by a salad. Frankly, that right there was about as much as I typically have for dinner, since the pasta was actually only one serving (rare in restaurants, which typically give you two or three servings). Then they started bringing around the main course, which was some sort of red meat. I caught them before they got to us and requested vegetarian entrees for me and Dad. Like me, Dad doesn't eat red meat, although he does eat chicken and fish. We're both kind of funny that way. I just got out of the habit years ago, primarily for health reasons, and now I truly can't stomach red meat.

A lady at the next table also requested vegetarian, so they brought all three at once. It was a plate piled high with vegetables, including a really delicious cheesy mashed potato dish. Not what I would typically expect to see offered as a vegetarian entree, but definitely served the purpose.

I suppose I could have skipped the last course, which was a chocolate layer cake. Normally, if I'm going to have dessert, I opt for something lighter. But I figured I'd burn off some calories later with dancing.

Of course, I didn't count on them having another sort of entertainment planned. Just as the daughter of my dad's med school buddy had joined me at the table to catch up on things, a standup comedian took the stage.

He was dreadful, I don't mind saying. I thought his material was very crude, and not in a funny way. He was morbidly obese and made a lot of jokes about it, but they were very graphic and usually involved the term "fat bastard" in there somewhere. In fact, he said "bastard" so often I began to wonder if he was getting royalties for the word.

Now don't get me wrong. Blue humor can be hilarious. The standup comedians who performed at the open mic night where I took a try at the stage a few years ago mostly worked blue, but they were a lot funnier than this guy. I also love Margaret Cho, who is nothing is not raw. But what she isn't is offensive, and this guy was.

He did some insult humor of people in the audience, but most of it was very predictable, like calling an elderly guy "pops." He was no Don Rickles. In fact, Don Rickles does fresher stuff than this guy, and his heyday was 40 years ago.

I think the worst thing about his act was the fact that he threw in racial jokes, such as a story where he went down to a hotel desk to request more soap and the guy spoke in a clearly Indian accent. The comedian claimed that he needed an extra towel, so he grabbed one "off his head." A table of med students, some of whom looked Middle Eastern, hissed and booed.

When he started to talk about his "Chinese doctor," who supposed bowed to him because he looked like Buddha, I left the room.

Out in the hallway, Fred Hall and his band were taking a break. They were tsking at many of the jokes, which they seemed to find equally unfunny. I heard one of them commenting about how he was funnier than they were. I liked these guys even more than I had when I was just listening to their music.

I read articles about previous Lily Langtry's shows in the hallway until I decided the act had to be about over. Then I returned to the room. I was right; it wasn't long before his ended his "act."

As soon as it ended, Dad turned to me and said, "Now that you've taken a class in comedy, what do you think?"

"Well, it was improv, so it's not exactly the same of standup, but I didn't like it," I told him. Dad seemed surprised, but he has a pretty wide-ranging sense of humor. He likes a lot of the same stuff as I do, but he laughs at the sort of locker-room humor jokes that I generally find loathsome.

But Fred Hall and his band took the stage again, and my spirits picked up. We sat at the table for awhile, talking. The daughter has had an interesting year. She's no longer doing as much work as a substitute art teacher and instead is selling handmade purses, scarves and art cards at craft fairs. She described them all in detail, and they sounded great. I made her promise to bring some photos to the dinner tomorrow night, since she said she has some on her digital camera.

She also revealed that she hurt her ankle recently while jogging and only just got back to normal, so she'd have to take it easy on the dance floor. But when a fast song came up that we both liked, we made our way down there to join her parents, who were already cutting a rug.

Most of the people had left when the comedian finished his set, and since it was such an intimate audience, Fred Hall came off-stage and talked to us. He encouraged "all the ladies" to join him on the dance floor to sing along to a couple songs from the 50's, such as "Run Around Sue". I didn't know all the words, but the daughter did, and she belted them out whenever he turned the mic to us.

Then he asked for requests, and I suggested something danceable from the 60's. They played "Rock 'n' Roll Music" and another Chuck Berry song, and I waved Dad down to join us.

At one point, Fred Hall had us go around and tell him where we were from. I said that I was Philly, but when he asked me if I'd gone to a specific high school here, I revealed I'd grown up in Central PA, in "Cowtown."

When the next song started, one of the other women made her way to us and, peering at Dad's name tag, asked him, "Are you Dr. Wilson?" She told us that he's her brother-in-law's doctor and that she "grew up in that same Cowtown." We talked a little bit about my hometown, although to be honest, there's not much to say. We both remarked how when we visit it now, it seems so green.

She's living in Harrisburg, which she and her friend referred to as "The Burg." Fred Hall, like me, at first assumed Pittsburgh, but they set him straight.

Near the end of the evening, Fred offered to pose for pictures with us, so I had Dad take one. I went up to him at the end of the set and asked for his e-mail address so I can send him a copy. I'm sure he'll appreciate that.

The band was a class act, and it definitely made my night. Tonight we're going back for the black tie optional dinner, which typically involves long speeches but also involves cocktails and dancing. Plus, I get to wear my new Michael Kors dress and The Gryphon gets to show off his new suit, so it should be a good night.

More from Dad's visit:

May 8, 2006 - Physician Frivolity

May 9, 2006 - Dinner with Dad

May 12, 2006 - Mutter Marvels

Copyright 2006 by Alyce Wilson

Musings Index

What do you think? Share your thoughts
at Alyce's message board (left button):