Musings
an Online Journal of Sorts
By Alyce Wilson
I don't know whether I want to fly to accept the Pulitzer Prize or not. It is a great honor, but I have so many other things to do. I could always have somebody go to receive it in my place, like Eminem did at the Oscars.
There's just so much going on: the meetings with P.T. Anderson and Aimee Mann on how to score the adaptation of my book, the interview with "Entertainment Weekly," the "Tonight Show" appearance. I just can't do everything.
Welcome to one of my traditions: writing April Fool's entries in my journal. It's a habit I started in my younger years and kept up pretty much as long as I was still keeping a daily journal. Here are some previous examples.
Today Lance kissed me. Ha. Ha! April Fools!
April 1, 1982
(11 years old)We're getting out of school early this year! April Fools!
April 1, 1983
(12 years old)We had a real blizzard. About 2 feet! I can't wait to go sledding. Oh, by the way, April Fools!
I got brave and called Lance on the phone. He answered, "Hi." "Hi. Is this Lance?" "Yes." "This is Alice. I called to ask you if you know when the next dance is." "Sometime in April." "Thanks." I nearly died. Oh, by the way, April Fool!!!
Today was the best day of my life. First, on the way to geometry I dropped my data center, spilling all the papers. Jan picked them up for me and took them to geometry. On the way to biology we held hands. He gave me his silver cross neclace and said he loved me. Guess what else?
IT'S APRIL FOOLS DAY, YOU FOOL!
Today Cory Weaver called me and begged me to come back to him. He really sounded pitiful, wailing and crying. I felt really sorry for him, so to put him out of his misery I told him the only thing I could think of, "April Fools!" Ha ha! You've been tricked again! None of that hogwash ever happened. Yet.
Workers have been busy at the bridge site since it first collapsed. They examined the piers and discovered that they could re-raise the span that fell.
Andy, Beth and I watched them working from the railroad bridge. We walked down early in the morning and crossed to the second bridge.
All through the morning and the afternoon they put up cables and moved machines around. At lunchtime we all left for an hour and came back.
Photographers were wandering around taking pics of the work progress. Skycam 16 flew over a few times to get footage.
By now a regular crowd of people was walking on and off the railroad bridge. A few times it shook so much I thought it would collapse.
Gradually, they lifted the span from the river. Machines pulled and cables tightened as they worked to get it higher.
When the span was level with the rest of the bridge, a few welders arrived to bolt and secure it. Cameras flashed, and a plane flew overhead with a message that read "APRIL FOOLS!"
Guess what? None of that ever happened. The pier of the still-standing bridge is too unstable, and it leans to the side. They are never going to repair our bridge. Right now they are concentrating on the construction of the new bride, which was already in progress when the old one fell. Ha!
April 1, 1988
(17 years old)School was gross today. We got scads of homework and the fire alarm rang three times. I have five assignments over the weekend...
April Fools! Actually, we had today off for Easter.
I wish this were a joke. Seems that Jim Whitehead, a guy who went to Milton High School, has posted a homophobic message in Netnews, and he's having his account suspended. They're going to see if they can do anything else to him or if he's protected by the freedom of speech clause. Aiee.
I worked in the dining hall.
Tonight was the Rubber Chicken.
This was the most exciting day of my life.
APRIL FOOL.
Moral:
Only a fool looks for a moral today.
Copyright
2003 by Alyce Wilson
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