Musings
an Online Journal of Sorts

By Alyce Wilson

Pondering The Matrix as lucid dreaming has got me thinking about my recent dreams. And I've had some doozies!

In one of them, I dreamt that I was in a rowboat floating on the Thames. I could see the nighttime London skyline in the distance. Johnny Depp, in his From Hell clothes, was leaning over me, looking concerned. I couldn't speak or move. Was I a dead prostitute, another victim of Jack the Ripper?

Or was I just suddenly aware of the fact that I was asleep and couldn't actually move or speak?

A far more disturbing dream occurred when I was taking a nap between late-night assignments. I had set my alarm for 45 minutes. In the dream, I was trying to work while I was at my sister's apartment. While she was out a lot of her friends showed up at the door and wanted to come in and party. I said, "Well, okay" and let them in.

I was really annoyed because I was trying to work and they were drinking 40's of MGD and throwing up on the carpet. And then I kind of gave up and decided to play the hostess and entertain them. That's when I noticed that one of them had dead eyes. She had the sort of eyes I've only ever seen in dreams when the person is dead in the waking world, as well. When they're dead, you see, their eyes don't move in the dream. It's disturbing until you get used to it.

So anyway, she had dead eyes and blood coming out of her mouth. And I've gotten so used to talking to dead people in my dreams -- I used to just run away -- that I said hi to her. She was propping up another friend who was really sick to her stomach. I told the first friend, "Watch over her," and she said she would.

But then the girl that was sick to her stomach had uncontrollable diarrhea all over the carpet. I was disgusted by this, of course, but even more disgusted when somebody scooped some of it up and smeared it in my mouth! I woke up gagging just a minute before the alarm was due to go off. Sometimes I hate my internal alarm.

Last weekend, I dreamt that I was dating a guy who used to be a girl. He looked like Drunk Girl on Saturday Night Live. But we were happy together, and we had a lot in common. He was really nice, really sweet and very supportive.

We were walking with some people and then this disgusting street punk that, in the waking world, has betrayed nearly every one of his friends, including my family, started holding hands with me. At first I didn't mind it. I just let him do it, even felt a little warm and happy inside.

And then I realized what I was doing, and I decided to go back to the guy who was nice to me. And I even said something out loud about how I have the right to choose one guy over another and I didn't have to just take the first one who made a move.

Last night, I dreamt an ex-boyfriend was piloting a spaceship with a female copilot. They got a text message from somebody. Because there was a really bad typo in it, they knew it was an alien. No human would have spelled that badly.

Suddenly the ship was filled with aliens, who were there to conduct a psychological experiment. My ex-boyfriend and the female pilot were standing in an empty room that had all sorts of windows looking into the rest of the ship. The floor was corrugated metal. The entire ship had a sort of rough, service-quality nature to it. The aliens were humanoid. They looked exactly human, in fact, except that they were very tall and thin and elongated. They were wearing American style clothing; jeans and pastel shirts.

They asked my ex-boyfriend what his favorite movie was, and he started listing things for them. I'm not sure what he said because the aliens started making observations out loud. They said, "He's just saying the first thing that comes into his head." And "He's just trying to say what he thinks we want him to say."

The female pilot was a little scared, and an older woman came over and gave her a big hug. Both women started to feel better, and the aliens froze in shock. You see, despite the fact that they were human-looking, they never touched each other. I understood suddenly that this was the main difference between us and the aliens. The two women hugging took on almost an ethereal quality. It was like viewing them the way the aliens saw them, as a kind of a revelation, a marvel. It was like they were surrounded by light, frozen into a marvelous statue of human compassion. That, it seems, was what the aliens wanted to learn.

Copyright 2003 by Alyce Wilson

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