December 28, 2003 - Sugarplum Family

Dad's cats Mia and Harold could be
a holiday before and after picture

Fortunately, the rest of the trip went smoothly, and we arrived at my dad's place at about dinner time. My dad had thought ahead and bought us some prepared dinners from the grocery store, which we could then heat up at our leisure.

I chose a fried chicken dinner but wondered aloud why they chose to include three kinds of carbs with it: macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes and a bun.

"Do you have any vegetables?" I asked my dad.

He rummaged through his refrigerator, finding nothing appropriate. "I have canned artichoke hearts," he'd say. "There's these carrots, but they've been here since... <sniff> Forget about the carrots."

My dad has a bachelor's refrigerator. I can't complain, because I have one, too.

In my refrigerator are the following: frozen portabella mushroom veggie patties, frozen mixed vegetables, one fat free chocolate-vanilla swirl pudding cup, a handful of red grapes, an unopened container of tofu, four cans of orange-pineapple Slimfast, some cranberry juice, a nearly full bottle of Diet Coke, an unopened jar of apple sauce, some leftover restaurant food, and about a cup of 2% milk which is kind of old... <sniff> wait a minute, forget about the milk.

I ended up eating only the fried chicken, holding onto the rest for later (to eat whenever I wanted to overdose on carbs). This was in part because I'd stepped on the scale in my dad's office immediately upon arriving, to discover I'd gained four pounds. So much for not gaining any weight over the holidays.

My complaining about my weight gain was, I suppose, the first test of The Gryphon's walk through fire. He did admirably, hugging me and telling me that I was always beautiful to him, no matter what.

Feeling guilty about my weight gain did not, however, prevent me from munching on the various sweets Dad had been evil enough to accumulate in his kitchen. Over the course of the weekend, my family and I managed to devour a box of assorted chocolates; a plate full of holiday cookies left over from his office party; a grocery store-made box of Napoleons, which we continued to eat even as we complained about their inferior quality; two and a half containers of Planter's nuts (holiday gift); and a cherry pie.

This was not, unfortunately, unusual for my family. We long ago developed the devastating habit of snacking voraciously while watching TV together at night. When I was young, it could be cheese and crackers, dried fruit, nuts, cookies, or anything left in the refrigerator.

The rest of the day we were relatively normal, but at home at night, with no one watching, we became snack-aholics.

When we saw someone coming out of the kitchen with a plate piled high with cheese crackers, instead of chiding them about eating so soon after dinner, we'd fill a plate of our own.

This particular trip I was saved, in part, because I'd arranged to stick to my standard evening work assignments. Since I'm a telecommuter, I can work from anywhere, and I worked on my dad's computer, in a separate room. This kept me safely away from the snacks, at least for several hours at a time, when I worked with access to only a glass of water or a diet soda.

Perhaps this is why I was relieved to note that, at the end of the weekend, I hadn't gained any additional holiday weight.

I told a friend of mine about this, over e-mail, and she made me feel a bit better. "You're supposed to gain weight over the holidays," she said. "Just get back to your weight loss plan afterwards and everything is fine."

I suppose I should take some small comfort from the fact that this year I only gained four pounds over the holidays, rather than 10, as I did last year.

Since it was Christmas Eve, my dad, my mom, my sister and her boyfriend went to the local church service. They returned afterwards and sat up talking for awhile. But by the time I was finished with my work, nearly everyone had already gone to bed.

I went upstairs and talked to my sister and her boyfriend for about half an hour until they yawned and stretched and asked me, in the politest possible terms, to get off their bed. They were sleeping on the fold-out futon, while The Gryphon and I would camp out in a spare room in Dad's office.

This put me only down the hall from the dreaded scale, but I fell asleep, trying not to think about it, trying instead to think of sleigh bells or some such nonsense. Anything but sugarplums.

 

More of the Wilson family Christmas:

December 29, 2003 - An Armadillo Antler Christmas

December 30, 2003 - Cat Valhalla

December 31, 2003 - Mega Media

Moral:
The holidays are the worst possible time to try to lose weight.