Musings
an Online Journal of Sorts

By Alyce Wilson

Sometimes I have a strange way of phrasing things, which can send people backpedaling to right an imaginary wrong. Such an incident happened yesterday as I was working out at the gym.

I was on one of the exercise machines when one of the staffers came over to me, looked me in the eyes and asked if I was such-and-such's mom.

I replied, "I'm no one's mom," meaning I don't have any kids.

When I told this story to The Gryphon, he said, "That was a strange way of putting it."

I shrugged. "Yes, but it's what I said."

The staffer found it strange and walked away, clearly in thought. She returned shortly, apparently trying to make things right with me, having apparently perceived some bitterness or disappointment in my voice. "Well, it's not too late."

Now, I don't really mind chit-chat in the gym, but I don't typically get into lengthy conversations. Most of the time, I'm on something of a schedule and would like to get through things quickly and get going. And yet, I could tell that, much as she was putting her foot in it even worse, she was trying to repair some perceived damage.

I laughed and said that I didn't need to worry any more because my brother just passed on the family genes to his son. She seemed somewhat relieved but flailed around, miring herself deeper. "You can always adopt," she said.

She was completely gray-haired, from the generation that believes if you haven't had a kid by the time you're 30, you feel pretty darn bad about it. Or at least, you should.

I chuckled and agreed, "Adoption is always an option. There's so many kids who need somebody." Yada, yada, yada.

By this point, I was done with the exercise machine, wiped down the equipment and started heading out. She followed me across the room.

"So, are you done with your workout now?" she asked.

I told her I was and chatted briefly with her about exercising while putting on my coat. Finally, she asked me her name and told me hers was Barbara.

"Nice talking to you," she said.

To be honest, I suppose it bothers me a little that I'm at the age when people assume I should be married with several kids. That's fine if that's where life has taken you, but I don't feel like I'm missing out. I'm starting to make some strides in my writing career. I've had a lot of progress making personal goals in recent years, including lots of work on my mental and physical health. I have a wonderful boyfriend who's considerate, smart and sweet. I've got a silly but sweet-natured doggie. I could use a little money, but other than that things are going well. Things are also going well for my family members, which makes me happy.

I don't need a child to complete my happiness, and besides, there's still plenty of time if that's what I want. So maybe Barbara was right and she did detect a bit of annoyance or wistfulness in my voice. The most important thing is that she meant well, so I felt it was important to give her a little smile and show her there were no hard feelings for seeing into my cellophane brain.

Copyright 2005 by Alyce Wilson

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